分类目录归档:bisexual stories

Tips on Dating Bisexual Women

1-webpSimply because she’s bisexual does not mean she’s seeking to meet up with all women or man she bumps into. She also offers her very own standards regarding what she’s searching for in your soul like a woman so respect her decision. When getting into a significant relationship having a bisexual woman, you should believe that they’re drawn to men too. You need to however keep in mind that you they have chosen over other people and they are drawn to you as a person, and not simply your characteristic look.

Respect her bisexuality that is a part of her identity. Avoid insisting that they is really a lesbian simply because she’s currently inside a relationship along with you. Resist the conceited urge to talk about your thinking about bisexuality as being a transient condition of human sexuality, even while you are offering to steer her into finding her true inner lesbian. Keep in mind that most bisexual women consider themselves of course being bisexual, regardless of who they really are dating at that time.

Simply because she’s also drawn to men does not necessarily mean that they is having an affair. Just like in almost any other relationship, your bisexual female partner shouldn’t simply be your companion, but additionally you should friend. Be truthful together with her and become available to sharing your innermost feelings and thoughts. It is perfectly normal to battle, but don’t forget to forgive each other and iron your differences so they don’t lead to future conflict. Don’t let yourself be critical, but communicate and become helpful towards each other.

For more information about bisexual dating sites and bisexual dating, simply visit our website.

This Mom Is Bisexual And In An Open Marriage. And She’s Happy As Can Be

Sacrifice. Isn’t that what motherhood is all about? Or is that what we have made ourselves believe? We sacrifice our sleep, our vanity and often our dignity. Anyone who has ever whipped out a boob in a crowded restaurant or has had to deal with a screaming tantrum in a toy store knows exactly what I mean. We mothers have convinced ourselves that to be the best for our children, we have to give up almost everything that separates us from the childless women out there.

But to be good mothers must we sacrifice that which makes us who we are? For Sophie Jenkins, absolutely not. One recent evening, following dinner with her husband Steve and their six-year-old daughter, Sophie planned a fun night out dancing with the girls. This isn’t unusual for most moms – we still enjoy nights out with our friends, even though they may end earlier than they did in our child-free days. But for Sophie, the concept of ‘girls night out’ takes on a whole different meaning.

On this night, Sophie enters the club and watches the gorgeous women, eyeing their soft curves. But she won’t be viewing them with envy, comparing her own body to theirs, as so many of us tend to do. No, Sophie will be looking at them with interest. You see, Sophie is a bisexual, married mom and tonight, she wants to find a woman to dance with and maybe make out with and then see where it leads.

You might be shocked, even horrified, to think that Sophie is cheating on her clueless husband. You might be judging this behavior as unsuitable for a mom. But Sophie is neither cheating nor doing anything wrong. She is simply living her life the way she wants to. And Steve knows all about it.

From the minute they met, Steve knew that Sophie was the woman he was going to marry and have children with. He also knew that she was bisexual and he had no problem with it. He understood that it’s the person – not the gender – that Sophie loves, and that she loves her husband deeply. And for the first few years of their marriage, it was enough.

Then Sophie had her daughter, a traumatic birth that led to severe postpartum depression. She felt lost, unhappy and desperate to have her old life back, which had included dating women. After therapy and a lot of soul searching, Sophie realized that she had sacrificed too much. She is a married mom, yes, but she is also a bisexual woman who needs other women to feel whole.

Bisexuality is confusing for most people. Isn’t it enough to just choose one gender and stick with it? Must people be allowed to sample from every menu? Well, why not? If Sophie’s bisexuality is “an elemental capacity to develop an attraction to the same gender,” then how can one argue with an innate part of her identity? Our most important job as moms is to teach our children to be proud of who they are. Sophie is doing exactly that. Though, like most parents, she has no intention of discussing her sex life with her daughter, she is exemplifying how to live a full, content life by being honest with herself and her husband about who she is.

Where is her loving partner in all of this? Well, he also has desires, but his don’t include going to bars and picking up women. What he wants is the classic male fantasy: a threesome with his wife and another woman. But as Sophie explains, it’s not easy to find a woman who wants to be brought home to someone else’s husband. In fact, it’s so hard to find this elusive other woman that it became part of an iconic Sex and the City episode in which Miranda answers a personals ad from a couple looking for this rare third party. According to Sophie, most potential “thirds” aren’t so sure about joining in with a married couple with kids. Even the most open-minded of people have particular views of family life, and they don’t include threesomes.

Sophie is first and foremost a mother. She takes Maddy to school and chats with the other moms about this and that. But when asked what she had done on Saturday night at her daughter’s class picnic, she neglects to mention the kissing and slow dancing with a woman at a club. Imagining the wide-eyed stares and gaping mouths on the moms’ faces (and the awe perhaps from the dads) is reason enough for Sophie to keep her true identity hidden. This causes a cognitive dissonance of sorts. Sophie is neither embarrassed nor ashamed of who she is, yet to protect her family, she cannot reveal a great part of who she is because of what other moms might think. And as educated and enlightened as we purport to be, moms are, at heart, often competitive and judgmental when it comes to what might seem like inappropriate “mom” behavior. Maybe it’s because we have our own secret proclivities.

But Sophie is not alone. A recent New York Times article by Mark Oppenheimer called “Married, With Infidelities” profiles Dan Savage, America’s best known sex columnist. His column, Savage Love, often looks at monogamy and what he considers its problems. For Savage, the best relationships are had if both people involved are “good, giving and game,” whatever that might entail for the couple. For Savage personally, it includes some extramarital activity; in Sophie’s case, it’s finding women to fool around with and perhaps sharing them with her husband, as she’s done in the past.

Judith Stacey, a New York University sociologist quoted in Oppenheimer’s article, succinctly sums up Sophie’s definition of her marriage: “Monogamy is not natural, non-monogamy is not natural. Variation is natural.” Variation is the key to Sophie’s happy marriage and her ability to be the best mother she can be.

Marriage and motherhood are never easy. In addition to balancing the demands of a husband and child, Sophie also has to find the time (and place) to fulfill a whole other need. She isn’t looking for a girlfriend per se, but she is looking for variation in her sex life. And though Steve is never accusing in his questions, he does want to be included in every part of Sophie’s life – and so it’s a challenge for her to decide how much to share. If Sophie ultimately decides that she wants to find another man, or Steve decides he does want to see another woman, these will be other lines they’ll have to cross. Fluidity in their relationship is understood as part of human nature, and Sophie knows that they will approach it together.

Sophie and Steve love each other, their child and the variation on life they’re mapping out for themselves. With the current media explosion about Arnold SchwarzeneggerAnthony Weiner and countless other celebrities and politicians literally being caught with their pants down, Sophie has figured out something most people haven’t. Honesty is truly the core of a relationship, and being who you really are, no holds barred, is the secret to happiness.

 

The Bisexual Pillow Princess

The Urban Dictionary describes a Pillow Princess as follows: A woman, usually of or in a curious/bisexual context, who wants to experience pleasure from oral sex, but who is unwilling to reciprocate. But what does that really mean? A selfish bitch who will take it from anyone who’ll give it; male or female? An uncommitted lesbian or bisexual woman unwilling to perform any sexual acts that will clearly identify her as a bisexual or lesbian woman?
Christine: All Cindy ever does when we have sex is just lay back and have me do all the work. She is such a pillow princess!

Okay, so technically I’m a bisexual pillow princess.

Most of my sexual partners have and will be men. I am keen on giving and receiving with guys with no problem – in fact, I love it! I guess that limits my reign as princess to sex with women. Why, you ask? Some would say I’m a selfish bitch and others would say I just don’t play for both teams, even if I say I do.
I started dating boys when I was 14 and didn’t give much thought to having sex with other girls. College changed all that. My first lesbian experience was in my first semester. I had succumbed to weekend keg-guzzling frat parties and although I was inexperienced, I was quickly catching up to my peers. There was this very beautiful junior named Christine, who I couldn’t stop staring at every time I saw her. I noticed her at every party I attended, and she made small talk with me, from time to time. She had a reputation as a real party animal type wild thing, which piqued my interest even more. Gorgeous long blonde hair, perfect barbie dimensions and the face to match; that must be my type I guess.
One foggy Saturday night frat party, she was there, as beautiful as ever, but stinking drunk and loud. She blurted out that she thought I was cute and she wanted me to go upstairs with her. I’d never been with a girl before, although I exclusively masturbated to lesbian porn, but I was both flattered and turned on. Emboldened by beers and wet panties, I silently followed her like a sheep to the slaughter.
I was totally freaked. I went to the bathroom to check myself and kept compulsively putting my hand in my panties to make sure I smelled okay (something I haven’t done with guys, incidentally). Sitting on the bed, I sipped beer from my red plastic cup and tried to make small talk. I rattled on and on like a nervous little chatterbox about to have her first lesbian experience. Then she slid over close to me, leaned over and put her index finger on my lips. “Shhhh” she whispered. I obeyed. Then she kissed me.
I was speechless and couldn’t even move. Sexiest. Thing. Ever.
My whole body trembled like a leaf as she ran her fingers across my shoulders, neck and caressed me slowly and deliberately. The kissing was better than any kissing I could remember with any guy; so soft and sweet and gentle.
Her clothes came off quickly and I started caressing her too. Pretty soon we were doing some heavy petting and she started pulling my clothes off. Okay, I’m getting to feel really awkward now. My mind is racing as I’m thinking, “I’m actually making out with another girl – it is really happening.”
And then she went down on me for what seemed like hours. Finally I couldn’t take any more orgasms and told her to stop. Yes, you heard it right. She grinned and sat back for a minute, with a very sexy look on her face. I know it was my cue to go down on her now. But I didn’t. I got up like a robot, put my clothes back on and walked out the door.
Somehow, miraculously, leaving her unfulfilled after hooking up gave me some sort of celebrity status among the other girls. Christine labeled me as a pillow princess and the name stuck; so did I.
After that, I was approached by girls who were into that sort of thing because they liked the idea of going down on a reluctant girl. They didn’t expect me to reciprocate. Frankly I liked it.
Now that I’m out of college, it’s much more difficult to find these girls. I’m not out, there’s no good lesbian bars nearby, and most girls interested in a one-night-stand want you to do something for them, too.
Is it selfish? Well, okay, in the case of Christine it was. But I let the rest of the women I sleep with know what they’re getting into. If it helps, it’s not the cruelty of blue-clitting somebody that appeals to me, it’s just the aspect of being “attended” to like pillow royalty. Plus, women who don’t care about “their turn” because they get off on giving head are usually really good at it and very enthusiastic.
I get most of my hookups through the Internet (which is a nightmare, if you’re a girl trolling for no-strings sex with other girls), where I often clearly state that I’m there to get, not give. Here’s how it works. I look for bi and gay girls on datingsites who are open to casual sex, then present myself as a curious mostly straight girl and drop the pillow princess bomb if she seems flirty and interested.
If I use Craigslist, I have to deal with loads of male creeps and have to voice-verify to make sure they’re girls, but I can also state in my ad exactly what these girls are in for. She hosts or we go someplace to have sex — but never my place, because I need to be able to make my abrupt exit. (Bars with locking unisex bathrooms are great for this — so I guess I’m also a “stand-up up against the tile” princess. People are shockingly okay with waiting in line while two girls fuck.)
I answer and place more ads than lead to actual hookups, but there are enough women out there willing to do this that I’ve done it a handful of times. Some of these women have been insanely hot. Some of them are gay, some are bi, and some of them are in relationships with men who don’t know that they meet women on the Internet for sex.
The best part is that if it turns out I’m not attracted to a girl in person, I can just close my eyes and pretend I am while she does her thing. It’s a weird combination of submitting and being serviced that I find intensely sexy. Occasionally, I’ll crack in the moment and reciprocate. (Although I also like getting them to the point where they’re forced to get themselves off while I’m getting my boots on.)
It’s not that I don’t like going down on women. I do. But I’m not dating them, and I don’t think I would want to have my fetish corrupted by caring for somebody enough to give back. Judge me if you must, but plenty of folks are selfish in bed without any warning.
At least in my situation, everybody goes in with their eyes open. At least until it gets really good.

Parenting While Bisexual

CAIAIMAGE/PAUL BRADBURY VIA GETTY IMAGES

This past May I celebrated my first Mother’s Day. I got flowers, breakfast, the whole lot. No real break from parenting. Does that even exist?

Turns out parenting is hard work. Our recently-adopted 5-year-old kiddo came fully loaded with sassy comebacks, strong opinions about food, and a love of absurdist comedy.

What do you call a grizzly bear in a tree?

I don’t know, what do you call a grizzly bear in a tree?

A GRIZZLY BEAR!!!

Of course.

As we slip down the slide of life with our kiddo, my partner and I are grasping at anything to help control our descent: friends, family, community resources, blogs, books, Wikipedia, WebMD, Facebook groups, strangers in the street. (Hilarious aside: last week our kiddo was screaming so loudly in the car that a passing parent on the sidewalk yelled “Solidarity!” It was a moment.) Despite the plethora of parenting resources, I’ve struggled to find information or support for bisexual parents like myself.

Research shows that bisexual parents face particular challenges unique from those faced by gay, lesbian, and heterosexual parents, like erasure, invisibility, and discrimination. Yet when you Google “bisexual parents,” the majority of links are resources for coming out as bisexual to your parents, not how to parent as a bisexual person. Similar searches reveal even less… parental results.

And, the data shows that lots of bisexual people are parents. According to the Williams Institute, 59 percent of bisexual women and 32 percent of bisexual men have had kids, compared to 31 percent of lesbians and 16 percent of gay men. Because bisexual people make up the largest portion of the lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) community, this means more than two-thirds of LGB parents are bisexual.

A 2014 survey by the Pew Research Center found that over 80 percent of bisexual people in committed relationships are in relationships with people of a different gender. (If you’re wondering why, check out this terrific article on the math.) So, the growing number of resources for same-sex parents won’t feel relevant for the majority of bisexual people. For example, bisexual parents in different-sex relationships may be able to more easily create legal ties to their children, but may struggle to find family or community who support bisexual people being parents, and thus feel isolated in their parenting. Bisexual parents may feel they have to hide their sexual orientation, leading to poorer health outcomes.

In fact, bisexual people need targeted resources to help overcome the many disparitiesfacing them. Bisexual people are low-income: 29.4 percent of bisexual women and 25.9 percent of bisexual men live at or below the federal poverty line. Low income parents struggle to make ends meet for their children, to make sure there is healthy food on the table and a safe, warm place to sleep at night. A recent study found that bisexual women face disproportionately high rates of depression, anxiety, substance use, and suicidal ideation. Bisexual people face pervasive discrimination at work. Bisexual people suffer staggeringly high rates of intimate partner violence. Many of these low-income bisexual people suffering from violence, discrimination, depression, and a lack of support are parents.

Support, though scarce, does exists. BiNet USA hosts a map of support groups and meetups across the country where bisexual parents can connect. If you are bisexual and already have a network, reach out to support another bisexual parent. Maybe you were the parent that yelled “Solidarity!” to my car from the sidewalk. Thank you. Every little bit helps.

Thanks to BiCupid – My Online Bisexual Dating Story

love over 40e one of them. I was twenty-six and I had just decided that it was finally time to put myself on the market… the dating market. I was not sure exactly how to go about doing something like this because I was bi and looking for a female partner. There were not a lot of dating sites that catered to that need of mine but after a quick and easy search on Google, I finally found what I was looking for on a site called BiCupid.

I took things slow and did not rush into finding a partner. I looked through many profiles and chatted with quite a few women who were also searching for female partners. After about one month of searching through profiles and talking to new people, I found a match that was right for me. Her name was Tira. She was thirty years old and she was bi just like me. We hit it off and decided to meet in person in order to further our relationship.

We went on several dates and got to know each other quite well. We even had a few sexual experiences together as a result of these dates. Soon, our sexual experiences began to be the focus of all of our dates. After a while, I realized that I did not really have feelings for Tira and that the only part of our time together that I looked forward to was sexual. I also realized that Tira was doing the same thing and that the two of us were simply using each other for sex. I quickly decided that this was not what I was looking for in life and that I wanted to end the relationship but I was not sure how to go about telling this to Tira.

One day, Tira approached me with a proposition. She wanted to have a threesome between her, her husband, and myself. This was instantly a turn off. I did not know that she was married and although our relationship had just been for sex, I was very put off by this. I did not want to date a married woman and, besides, I actually liked younger girls a lot better than older girls. I figured that it would be better to end this now. So, when she made this offer to me, I not only rejected her but I let her know that I was no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with her. I did this casually because I knew that the relationship did not mean a great deal to either of us since we had both resorted to just using each other for sex.

Tira was only slightly disappointed by me breaking off our relationship. We went our separate ways and I returned to BiCupid in order to start talking to people and looking for a better relationship than I had had with Tira. Only a week after I had ended things with Tira, she sent me a message on BiCupid and invited me to a party that she was throwing as a sign of good will. I had nothing better to do and thought that it would be fun so I let her know that I would definitely be there. I thought that perhaps this would be a good way to meet new people and hopefully meet another girl who might be interested in me.

I went to the party and although I did not have high expectations, I did meet someone. From the moment I saw her, I was entranced. The first word that came to mind when I saw her was sexy. She had tattoos on her body and I felt myself instantly wondering how many tattoos she had underneath her clothes.  Although I was a little bit nervous, I approached her and started a conversation easily. She was easy to talk to and as she spoke I knew that I just wanted to know more and more about her. We had a chemistry together and I could tell that she felt the same way that I did. I quickly learned that she was a lesbian and I also learned that she did not mind that I was bi. The fact that I was sometimes attracted to men did not bother her at all and that made me ecstatic.

I took that sexy woman home that night and we got to know each other intimately which was something that I enjoyed greatly. I was able to see all of her tattoos and she was eager to show them to me. We quickly realized that we wanted to spend even more time together and that this relationship would not be one that was only about sex. And so we went on dates and actually got to know one another. Now, we have been together for a year and a half and I can honestly say that I love her. We are very happy together and I hope that we will stay that way for a very long time.

I would like to thank both BiCupid and Tira for bringing the two of us together. Without them, neither one of us would have ever found the love that we have for each other and because of them, we are both very, very happy. Thank you!

This Mom Is Bisexual And In An Open Marriage. And She’s Happy As Can Be

Sacrifice. Isn’t that what motherhood is all about? Or is that what we have made ourselves believe? We sacrifice our sleep, our vanity and often our dignity. Anyone who has ever whipped out a boob in a crowded restaurant or has had to deal with a screaming tantrum in a toy store knows exactly what I mean. We mothers have convinced ourselves that to be the best for our children, we have to give up almost everything that separates us from the childless women out there.

But to be good mothers must we sacrifice that which makes us who we are? For Sophie Jenkins, absolutely not. One recent evening, following dinner with her husband Steve and their six-year-old daughter, Sophie planned a fun night out dancing with the girls. This isn’t unusual for most moms – we still enjoy nights out with our friends, even though they may end earlier than they did in our child-free days. But for Sophie, the concept of ‘girls night out’ takes on a whole different meaning.

On this night, Sophie enters the club and watches the gorgeous women, eyeing their soft curves. But she won’t be viewing them with envy, comparing her own body to theirs, as so many of us tend to do. No, Sophie will be looking at them with interest. You see, Sophie is a bisexual, married mom and tonight, she wants to find a woman to dance with and maybe make out with and then see where it leads.

You might be shocked, even horrified, to think that Sophie is cheating on her clueless husband. You might be judging this behavior as unsuitable for a mom. But Sophie is neither cheating nor doing anything wrong. She is simply living her life the way she wants to. And Steve knows all about it.

From the minute they met, Steve knew that Sophie was the woman he was going to marry and have children with. He also knew that she was bisexual and he had no problem with it. He understood that it’s the person – not the gender – that Sophie loves, and that she loves her husband deeply. And for the first few years of their marriage, it was enough.

Then Sophie had her daughter, a traumatic birth that led to severe postpartum depression. She felt lost, unhappy and desperate to have her old life back, which had included dating women. After therapy and a lot of soul searching, Sophie realized that she had sacrificed too much. She is a married mom, yes, but she is also a bisexual woman who needs other women to feel whole.

Bisexuality is confusing for most people. Isn’t it enough to just choose one gender and stick with it? Must people be allowed to sample from every menu? Well, why not? If Sophie’s bisexuality is “an elemental capacity to develop an attraction to the same gender,” then how can one argue with an innate part of her identity? Our most important job as moms is to teach our children to be proud of who they are. Sophie is doing exactly that. Though, like most parents, she has no intention of discussing her sex life with her daughter, she is exemplifying how to live a full, content life by being honest with herself and her husband about who she is.

Where is her loving partner in all of this? Well, he also has desires, but his don’t include going to bars and picking up women. What he wants is the classic male fantasy: a threesome with his wife and another woman. But as Sophie explains, it’s not easy to find a woman who wants to be brought home to someone else’s husband. In fact, it’s so hard to find this elusive other woman that it became part of an iconic Sex and the City episode in which Miranda answers a personals ad from a couple looking for this rare third party. According to Sophie, most potential “thirds” aren’t so sure about joining in with a married couple with kids. Even the most open-minded of people have particular views of family life, and they don’t include threesomes.

Sophie is first and foremost a mother. She takes Maddy to school and chats with the other moms about this and that. But when asked what she had done on Saturday night at her daughter’s class picnic, she neglects to mention the kissing and slow dancing with a woman at a club. Imagining the wide-eyed stares and gaping mouths on the moms’ faces (and the awe perhaps from the dads) is reason enough for Sophie to keep her true identity hidden. This causes a cognitive dissonance of sorts. Sophie is neither embarrassed nor ashamed of who she is, yet to protect her family, she cannot reveal a great part of who she is because of what other moms might think. And as educated and enlightened as we purport to be, moms are, at heart, often competitive and judgmental when it comes to what might seem like inappropriate “mom” behavior. Maybe it’s because we have our own secret proclivities.

But Sophie is not alone. A recent New York Times article by Mark Oppenheimer called “Married, With Infidelities” profiles Dan Savage, America’s best known sex columnist. His column, Savage Love, often looks at monogamy and what he considers its problems. For Savage, the best relationships are had if both people involved are “good, giving and game,” whatever that might entail for the couple. For Savage personally, it includes some extramarital activity; in Sophie’s case, it’s finding women to fool around with and perhaps sharing them with her husband, as she’s done in the past.

Judith Stacey, a New York University sociologist quoted in Oppenheimer’s article, succinctly sums up Sophie’s definition of her marriage: “Monogamy is not natural, non-monogamy is not natural. Variation is natural.” Variation is the key to Sophie’s happy marriage and her ability to be the best mother she can be.

Marriage and motherhood are never easy. In addition to balancing the demands of a husband and child, Sophie also has to find the time (and place) to fulfill a whole other need. She isn’t looking for a girlfriend per se, but she is looking for variation in her sex life. And though Steve is never accusing in his questions, he does want to be included in every part of Sophie’s life – and so it’s a challenge for her to decide how much to share. If Sophie ultimately decides that she wants to find another man, or Steve decides he does want to see another woman, these will be other lines they’ll have to cross. Fluidity in their relationship is understood as part of human nature, and Sophie knows that they will approach it together.

Sophie and Steve love each other, their child and the variation on life they’re mapping out for themselves. With the current media explosion about Arnold SchwarzeneggerAnthony Weiner and countless other celebrities and politicians literally being caught with their pants down, Sophie has figured out something most people haven’t. Honesty is truly the core of a relationship, and being who you really are, no holds barred, is the secret to happiness.

Dinelle’s Coming Out Story – A Story of First Love

love over 40

 

I am 19 years old, graduated just last year, and I am completely out to almost everyone I know. I’ve been told I don’t know what I want because I’m just a teenager and it’s just a phase. But ever since I was little I always noticed that while other girls were giggling over the new boy or playing on the swing set, I was beating up the boys and playing with little bugs. When I was younger I didn’t know the words ‘lesbian’ or ‘bisexual’ but I knew the word homosexual and I didn’t even know what it meant. I was only ever told that it was a mental disorder and was something I should hope I didn’t ‘catch’.

My First Kiss

I never knew why I didn’t think guys were so great and always felt weird when we had to pair up to learn a dance or something. I liked hanging out with guys, I just never thought they were cute or fun to be around. I couldn’t tell anyone that I thought girls were cute and always just wanted to play with them because I didn’t know that’s what it was.

My first actual kiss with a girl was with one of my best friends at the time but I didn’t think anything of it because I’d seen girls give each other little kisses all the time. When I was 10 I had my first boyfriend, we never held hands, we never kissed, and we never did anything that would signify we were dating what so ever. After about two and a half years I told him I was sorry but we really were just good friends and we weren’t really dating anyways. He agreed and we’re still friends to this day. When I was 13 I had my first kiss with a boy, it was like I felt nothing, I mean I definitely didn’t want another one, but girls my age were supposed to be kissed by guys, so I went along with it. Finally when I hit 15 I went to put on a performance and was meeting two other girls in our group when I met her. She was a cute girl about my height, my age exactly with short sandy blonde hair and the clearest blue eyes I’d ever seen. The only thing was I didn’t even notice her I was so wrapped up in getting our dance moves right. Later on after the performance the girl asked me to come to the arcade with her and dink around for a little bit. So over that weekend we talked and had a great time.
Over the next week or so we talked almost every day on the phone and on the computer. And we were joking around like normal and I said she was mine jokingly, she asked me then “If I’m yours then why don’t you go out with me?” I literally stopped breathing for who knows how long. I didn’t know what to say or do, or even think. So I asked her to give me until that Friday when I went over to her house. I’d never thought of going out with girls but between the time we hung out and when she asked me that, I had kissed her a few times randomly, just innocent little kisses. And as slow as I am I didn’t put two and two together that this was my first real crush, and that I really liked her.
So when I went over to her place that Friday her best friend asked if we were official now, the girl said she didn’t know but she hoped so. She looked to me and I told her she was right. We went out for about a year and a half before my mom finally found out. At first my mom was terrified and told me I didn’t know what I was doing. Now however she tells me if I’m stressed then I probably just need a girlfriend. Me and my first girlfriend went out for three whole years before she finally told me she didn’t love me anymore. In those three years she cheated on me twice, I forgave her twice, she hurt me in more ways than I could ever imagine, but I was so in love with her I could forgive anything as long as she stayed with me. I’ve had three girlfriends since her, but still I’ve yet to feel the intense and unconditional love I felt for my blonde, blue eyed lover.
Today I am out to pretty much my entire family, no one I know outside my family doesn’t know, and I am happily single at the moment. I am in college and focusing on myself for now, but I’m still always open to sweet loving girls who like me for me. I am a full-blown bisexual who’s not ashamed to admit it.

Evan Rachel Wood on what people misunderstand about bisexuality

love over 40

Ever since Evan Rachel Wood came out as bisexual in 2011, she’s been very vocal about wanting to eliminate the misconceptions many people have about bisexuality. Last week, Wood wrote a series of really important and informative tweets, detailing the reality of the discrimination that people who are bisexual face daily. Her goal was to bring awareness and use social media to educate — and she succeeded big time.

This week, Wood talked to Nylon magazine about overcoming shame sometimes placed on those who identify as bisexual, as well as all the misunderstandings surrounding it.

When asked how she overcame her bi-shame, she said, “Years of trying to fit into a box I didn’t belong in. I realized I was happier when I just accepted myself. I stopped feeling like I had to prove my “queerness.” I knew who I was and that was enough. Also just noting that some people view the word queer as offensive. Some embrace it and identify with it. I always liked the word when it wasn’t being used in a derogatory way. So to be clear, I am using it in a non-derogatory sense.”

For those who may not know the difference, Wood explained how experimentation and actual bisexuality are very different. “Experimentation is just that,” she said. “Trying something out because you are curious. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t. I can only speak from my own experience and I wasn’t doing it for attention or because I was curious. It was like a fire in my soul that I had to let out or I would never be complete.”

Wood explained that for some people, bisexuality can be a transition into being gay, but that’s not the case for everyone.

“Some people go through more of a transition, for whatever reason they feel. But just because you once identified as bisexual and now you identify as gay, doesn’t mean every bisexual is just ‘afraid to come all the way out.’ Your experience is your experience. Period. I have a feminine side and a masculine side. I think I finally found a good marriage between the two. They have made peace with each other. When I am with a man, I am not straight. When I am with a woman, I am not gay. I am always bi. I am always me. I can’t ‘pick a side’ or ‘shut one down.’ One is not better than the other. They are just different. The only choice I make is the choice to be happy by letting go and just being myself.”

She went on to discuss how we can all be better allies for the bisexual community. “Try not to judge someone before you really know their story,” Wood said. “Be good to people who are good to you. And don’t let bad experiences with certain people taint your perception of an entire group of people. That’s how extreme points of view take over and bigotry is born.” Her advice holds true for being better allies to all people everywhere.

For many people trying to understand bisexuality, the misconceptions they may have don’t necessarily mean that they don’t approve of or support bisexuality — they may just now know enough facts. People may not view bisexuality it as a classification of sexuality, even though it absolutely is. But if they’ve been paying attention to Evan Rachel Wood, they certainly have a much better idea now. We are so happy that Wood’s voice is being heard, and hopefully her openness will help open the minds of everyone.

Check out the full Nylon interview here.

From Straight Girl to Bisexual: How I Fell for My Best Friend and Her Boobs

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Hello Friends.  First of all I would like you to imagine me on a children’s rocking horse, which happens to be located at the top of a ten-foot slide.  The bottom of that slide is three feet from wherever you are reading this post.  Imagine hearing a fun circus-type whistle and BOOM – I’m flying right at you; this is how I would like to enter your world if you will allow me to do so.  The reality is that I’ll be writing this column from my apartment in Echo Park, Los Angeles, where ‘La Cucaracha’ is currently playing via car horn for the sixth time today.

Okay, so blah blah blah, my best friend’s boobs.  Four short years ago I was a straight.  Today, I am a bisexual lesbian. Girl, we need to talk.  So much has happened. Where have you been? Why didn’t I realize sooner in life?  I’m in my thirties.  What took so long?  Seriously.

Let’s get back to my best friend’s boobs.

It all happened so quickly.  One day I was sitting on the couch with my best friend and the thought of kissing her or any other woman had never occurred to me until that moment.  So I asked her if I could.  She said no.  She didn’t feel that way about me.  She felt emotionally connected to me, but not physically.  Fine.  But that didn’t stop me from exploring those feelings.  She and I hooked up a tiny bit and did agree that we were dating emotionally, just not physically.  Truthfully, I just don’t know how she could resist me – I am quite adorable.

The good thing about all this is that it’s led me to love.  What could be so wrong with that?  I’m happy to say though that back then I wasn’t scared of the impulse, it was nice to like something new. (Boobs.)  I didn’t judge the feeling, either.  I just thought, maybe I should look into this. (Boobs.)  I did and here I am: a bisexual lesbian.   Ain’t no thang, baby.  (I’ll stop with the boobs.)

I need to amend my ‘La Cucaracha’ comment: make that eight times today. I was just lucky enough to get a double dose.  Thank you, Echo Park.

I’m excited to write this column because I think there are some people who are confused sexually andpolitically.  But don’t worry, I’m not here to preach, sheeps.  But I might be here to brag.  I guess I’m proud that I’ve made sweet beautiful love to both sexes and can firmly say that I truly satisfy both.  Not many people can say that.  I can, baby.  Jazz hands.

I’m not saying that I’ve slept with a lot of people.  Calm down and go soak your tampons in some more alcohol.  Drinking through your mouth is ten minutes ago.  ALL I AM TRYING TO SAY IS THAT I’VE HAD A LOT OF SEX IN MY LIFE with a limited number of partners belonging to BOTH sexes.  And I’m saying this because I think I deserve at least a plaque or something?

In case you’re keeping score, I can count the amount of people I’ve slept with on two hands.  Which is no small feat in this post-Jersey Shore, call a taxi and run era.  (I actually just stopped writing this to count the amount of people I’ve been with to make sure my testimony is accurate.  The numbers are in: Look Mom, TWO HANDS!!)

I guess I feel the need to share all this because I feel like making endless love to both sexes successfully makes me a bad ass.  Maybe that makes me a dork.  Maybe the only place I want to be right now is at the top of a mountain wearing nothing but underwear and a leather jacket screaming, “I’m a bisexual lesbian, baby.  AIN’T ANY THANG.”

I do feel like I should have figured this out at some point during my adolescence, though: I wanted to be Joe Elliot, the lead singer for Def Leppard, for God’s sake.  Why didn’t that clue me in?  (To be fair, I also wanted to be Bo Derek, Wembley from Fraggle Rock and Madonna – so I get the confusion.)  It just didn’t occur to me, not during my four years of college on a softball scholarship, not during my time in Europe playing semi-professional soccer for Manchester United, not even when I marveled at my impressive tube sock collection did it occur to me.  Maybe it just shouldn’t matter when, maybe it’s just about the who and the what.  Right now I feel like I’m finally me and if it takes dating both sexes for years to figure it out then so be it.  The B word isn’t such a bad thing.

I’m proud to be bisexual.  We’re a misunderstood breed.   When I came out to my gay friends, I thought I was going to get some kind of a welcome gliteratti leather and lace parade with a ball later that night that included a step and repeat.  Nope.  All I got was, “You’re a slut, you’re confused, you’re in a phase, we don’t want you.”  Well, fine.  Be that way.  My tube sock collection might suggest otherwise, but I’m pretty secure in the fact that it’s all about the person to me.  Why else would I date a Star Wars nerd?

And maybe it is a phase, but I don’t think so.  I think we have more important things to think and care about other than who our fellow friends, relatives and/or students love.   That feels a little preachy, but too bad.  I don’t think that there’s anything that should hold you back from what your heart is telling you except bad breath.  Get a mint, girl, and let’s talk.

Tips on Getting Support as a Bisexual

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Being bisexual, you may often feel alone and misunderstood. One of the reasons behind these feelings is the lack of information on this formerly ‘taboo’ topic and the abundance of ‘negative’ opinions surrounding it. However, getting support isn’t impossible nowadays, as 3.4% of the US population identifies itself as lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgender. And the numbers continue to grow as more people open up to accept who they are. Besides, how long can a person stay in the dark? Are you looking for help and support too? If so, follow these useful tips:

(Before we move on, it is important for you to be aware there is nothing wrong with bisexuality. Why? Because human sexuality is complicated and what may seem attractive to one gender or human may not necessarily be for another. Instead of feeling depressed or hating yourself, move past the phase of regret and accept who you are. Cheers!)

  • Be Open from the Start

In this age of vast information, blogs and articles have become important tools for distributing knowledge and news to diverse populations. Forget about hiding your sexuality and look for support by reading numerous books and articles online on LGTB support websites and communities. Once you start reading, you will begin to understand and appreciate your sexuality. Besides, what can be better than loving a person for who he/she really is, regardless of their sex? You are unique!

  • Get in Touch with LGBT Organizations

Are you looking for proper advice regarding how to reveal your sexuality to others? If so, get in touch with LGBT organizations right away. You can find many LGBT communities online that offer confidential and non-judgmental ‘helpline’ services. They provide valuable listening, support, advice, and information to bisexual people, their friends, families or anyone seeking professional assistance in helping others who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.

  • Talk to Other Bisexuals

Nobody can be more understanding regarding your sexual orientation than a person who is like YOU and knows the pains and challenges of being bisexual or the ‘oddball’ of the society. Join bisexual communities online and be friends with other bisexuals. This way, you can gain the confidence of speaking to others and openly reveal your sexuality to them. Revealing your sexuality to a person who knows exactly how it feels like will also lessen the ‘burden’ on your shoulders and enable you to stop feeling ashamed of who you are.

  • Stay Away from ‘Negative’ Individuals

You can always find friends who will accept you for who you are. But you will also find many people who will actually make your situation worse by constantly berating, making fun of you, or calling you weird names. Don’t let these ‘negative’ individuals affect you and instead avoid them at all costs. Of course, you do want to blend in, but with time and patience, people will learn to accept you similar to how they learned to accept gay and lesbians.

So, now that you are familiar with the tips mentioned above, getting support as a bisexual won’t be a problem.