Monthly Archives: June 2016

12998263_882028201925209_6156780200695907174_o1. Yes, she’s really bisexual. You wouldn’t keep asking a straight woman you were dating if she was “really” straight, right? Yeah, it’s just as weird for you to do that to a bisexual woman.

2. No, she’s not going to cheat on you just because she’s bisexual. That’d be like saying someone was going to cheat on you because all blondes cheat. Do you know how many monogamous blondes there are in the world? So many monogamous blondes! Same with bisexuals.

3. She’s not going through a phase. So many people act like bisexuality is this weigh station between gay and straight, but it’s not. She was probably born bisexual and will probably always be bisexual. Rest assured, if she likes you, she likes you.

4. She’s not attracted to everyone she sees. Because I don’t just date one gender, people act like I’m attracted to every single person in every room, but in reality, I am usually attracted to zero people in most rooms. I’m a picky broad, man.

5. If she ends up with one gender, that doesn’t mean she’s not still attracted to multiple genders. If a bisexual woman marries a man, she’s still bisexual. If she marries a woman, still bisexual. She didn’t finally, at long last, pick a side. She married someone she loves, who happens to be one particular gender.

6. She’s not just “greedy.” Why do bisexual people get called greedy all the time like they’re going to date every single person on earth because they have hypnotic powers and then everyone else will be single and miserable? See no. 4. I am attracted to almost no one, which means you can have almost everyone. I do not want them all.

7. She might be really scared to tell you she’s bisexual. Because if she does, you might assume one of the things on this list and then she’ll either feel like she has to explain her whole life to you or have you hate her or start being weird around her. Sadly, she’s faced these kinds of things before with other partners and is really worried that you might be the same as all the other assholes. So please don’t be.

8. She doesn’t have a specific percentage of how gay she is and how straight she is.Seriously, why do you want her to make sexuality pie charts anyway, weirdo? She just told you she’s bisexual. That doesn’t require diagrams.

9. Guys: No, she doesn’t want to have a threesome with you just because she’s bisexual. She might want to have a threesome because she likes threesomes in the same way some straight people like threesomes, but assuming she wants that just because she’s attracted to more than one gender doesn’t even make sense and it makes you sound like a moron. Please don’t be a moron.

10. Yes, she’s able to commit to same-sex relationships. Lesbians, you are so scary to so many bisexual women because so many of you think that bisexuals are cheaters or liars or fickle when the fact of the matter is, that bisexual girl who broke your heart because she left you for a man just left you for a person. Be mad or hurt or sad because someone dumped you for someone else, but don’t think for a second they dumped you because they secretly loved boys more than girls. Come on.

11. She might feel like she doesn’t have any place in the LGBT community or in the straight community. Because lesbians think she’s not gay enough and straight people think she’s this overly sexualized tramp who will sleep with anyone. Even though the B in LGBT is there, it often feels like it’s not, so being supportive of her occasionally feeling isolated goes a long way.

12. She may have only had serious relationships with one gender and not another, but that doesn’t mean she’s more into one gender or another. Some bisexuals have mostly had long-term relationships with men and not as many relationships with women, oftentimes because they were socialized to be straight and pursue boys, so they’ve just been dating them longer. But whatever the reason, that doesn’t make her X percent gay or straight. It just means she’s had more experience (or luck) with one gender than another. Also, please stop trying to do the math on this, seriously.bidatingsite

13. No, you can’t “turn” her one way or the other. Your love or sex or body parts cannot make her more into your specific gender just because you’re so awesome. That is not a thing.

14. Yes, fine, she’s bisexual, but she’s also a woman you’re crazy about. If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance that the fact that this girl you like is bisexual is a little overwhelming to you. That’s OK. But don’t forget she’s a person. A complex, multifaceted, funny, intelligent, fascinating, hot person you’re totally into. So it doesn’t really matter who she likes or doesn’t like or why. If she likes you, that’s all you really need to know.

This Mom Is Bisexual And In An Open Marriage. And She’s Happy As Can Be

Sacrifice. Isn’t that what motherhood is all about? Or is that what we have made ourselves believe? We sacrifice our sleep, our vanity and often our dignity. Anyone who has ever whipped out a boob in a crowded restaurant or has had to deal with a screaming tantrum in a toy store knows exactly what I mean. We mothers have convinced ourselves that to be the best for our children, we have to give up almost everything that separates us from the childless women out there.

But to be good mothers must we sacrifice that which makes us who we are? For Sophie Jenkins, absolutely not. One recent evening, following dinner with her husband Steve and their six-year-old daughter, Sophie planned a fun night out dancing with the girls. This isn’t unusual for most moms – we still enjoy nights out with our friends, even though they may end earlier than they did in our child-free days. But for Sophie, the concept of ‘girls night out’ takes on a whole different meaning.

On this night, Sophie enters the club and watches the gorgeous women, eyeing their soft curves. But she won’t be viewing them with envy, comparing her own body to theirs, as so many of us tend to do. No, Sophie will be looking at them with interest. You see, Sophie is a bisexual, married mom and tonight, she wants to find a woman to dance with and maybe make out with and then see where it leads.

You might be shocked, even horrified, to think that Sophie is cheating on her clueless husband. You might be judging this behavior as unsuitable for a mom. But Sophie is neither cheating nor doing anything wrong. She is simply living her life the way she wants to. And Steve knows all about it.

From the minute they met, Steve knew that Sophie was the woman he was going to marry and have children with. He also knew that she was bisexual and he had no problem with it. He understood that it’s the person – not the gender – that Sophie loves, and that she loves her husband deeply. And for the first few years of their marriage, it was enough.

Then Sophie had her daughter, a traumatic birth that led to severe postpartum depression. She felt lost, unhappy and desperate to have her old life back, which had included dating women. After therapy and a lot of soul searching, Sophie realized that she had sacrificed too much. She is a married mom, yes, but she is also a bisexual woman who needs other women to feel whole.

Bisexuality is confusing for most people. Isn’t it enough to just choose one gender and stick with it? Must people be allowed to sample from every menu? Well, why not? If Sophie’s bisexuality is “an elemental capacity to develop an attraction to the same gender,” then how can one argue with an innate part of her identity? Our most important job as moms is to teach our children to be proud of who they are. Sophie is doing exactly that. Though, like most parents, she has no intention of discussing her sex life with her daughter, she is exemplifying how to live a full, content life by being honest with herself and her husband about who she is.

Where is her loving partner in all of this? Well, he also has desires, but his don’t include going to bars and picking up women. What he wants is the classic male fantasy: a threesome with his wife and another woman. But as Sophie explains, it’s not easy to find a woman who wants to be brought home to someone else’s husband. In fact, it’s so hard to find this elusive other woman that it became part of an iconic Sex and the City episode in which Miranda answers a personals ad from a couple looking for this rare third party. According to Sophie, most potential “thirds” aren’t so sure about joining in with a married couple with kids. Even the most open-minded of people have particular views of family life, and they don’t include threesomes.

Sophie is first and foremost a mother. She takes Maddy to school and chats with the other moms about this and that. But when asked what she had done on Saturday night at her daughter’s class picnic, she neglects to mention the kissing and slow dancing with a woman at a club. Imagining the wide-eyed stares and gaping mouths on the moms’ faces (and the awe perhaps from the dads) is reason enough for Sophie to keep her true identity hidden. This causes a cognitive dissonance of sorts. Sophie is neither embarrassed nor ashamed of who she is, yet to protect her family, she cannot reveal a great part of who she is because of what other moms might think. And as educated and enlightened as we purport to be, moms are, at heart, often competitive and judgmental when it comes to what might seem like inappropriate “mom” behavior. Maybe it’s because we have our own secret proclivities.

But Sophie is not alone. A recent New York Times article by Mark Oppenheimer called “Married, With Infidelities” profiles Dan Savage, America’s best known sex columnist. His column, Savage Love, often looks at monogamy and what he considers its problems. For Savage, the best relationships are had if both people involved are “good, giving and game,” whatever that might entail for the couple. For Savage personally, it includes some extramarital activity; in Sophie’s case, it’s finding women to fool around with and perhaps sharing them with her husband, as she’s done in the past.

Judith Stacey, a New York University sociologist quoted in Oppenheimer’s article, succinctly sums up Sophie’s definition of her marriage: “Monogamy is not natural, non-monogamy is not natural. Variation is natural.” Variation is the key to Sophie’s happy marriage and her ability to be the best mother she can be.

Marriage and motherhood are never easy. In addition to balancing the demands of a husband and child, Sophie also has to find the time (and place) to fulfill a whole other need. She isn’t looking for a girlfriend per se, but she is looking for variation in her sex life. And though Steve is never accusing in his questions, he does want to be included in every part of Sophie’s life – and so it’s a challenge for her to decide how much to share. If Sophie ultimately decides that she wants to find another man, or Steve decides he does want to see another woman, these will be other lines they’ll have to cross. Fluidity in their relationship is understood as part of human nature, and Sophie knows that they will approach it together.

Sophie and Steve love each other, their child and the variation on life they’re mapping out for themselves. With the current media explosion about Arnold SchwarzeneggerAnthony Weiner and countless other celebrities and politicians literally being caught with their pants down, Sophie has figured out something most people haven’t. Honesty is truly the core of a relationship, and being who you really are, no holds barred, is the secret to happiness.

 

The Bisexual Pillow Princess

The Urban Dictionary describes a Pillow Princess as follows: A woman, usually of or in a curious/bisexual context, who wants to experience pleasure from oral sex, but who is unwilling to reciprocate. But what does that really mean? A selfish bitch who will take it from anyone who’ll give it; male or female? An uncommitted lesbian or bisexual woman unwilling to perform any sexual acts that will clearly identify her as a bisexual or lesbian woman?
Christine: All Cindy ever does when we have sex is just lay back and have me do all the work. She is such a pillow princess!

Okay, so technically I’m a bisexual pillow princess.

Most of my sexual partners have and will be men. I am keen on giving and receiving with guys with no problem – in fact, I love it! I guess that limits my reign as princess to sex with women. Why, you ask? Some would say I’m a selfish bitch and others would say I just don’t play for both teams, even if I say I do.
I started dating boys when I was 14 and didn’t give much thought to having sex with other girls. College changed all that. My first lesbian experience was in my first semester. I had succumbed to weekend keg-guzzling frat parties and although I was inexperienced, I was quickly catching up to my peers. There was this very beautiful junior named Christine, who I couldn’t stop staring at every time I saw her. I noticed her at every party I attended, and she made small talk with me, from time to time. She had a reputation as a real party animal type wild thing, which piqued my interest even more. Gorgeous long blonde hair, perfect barbie dimensions and the face to match; that must be my type I guess.
One foggy Saturday night frat party, she was there, as beautiful as ever, but stinking drunk and loud. She blurted out that she thought I was cute and she wanted me to go upstairs with her. I’d never been with a girl before, although I exclusively masturbated to lesbian porn, but I was both flattered and turned on. Emboldened by beers and wet panties, I silently followed her like a sheep to the slaughter.
I was totally freaked. I went to the bathroom to check myself and kept compulsively putting my hand in my panties to make sure I smelled okay (something I haven’t done with guys, incidentally). Sitting on the bed, I sipped beer from my red plastic cup and tried to make small talk. I rattled on and on like a nervous little chatterbox about to have her first lesbian experience. Then she slid over close to me, leaned over and put her index finger on my lips. “Shhhh” she whispered. I obeyed. Then she kissed me.
I was speechless and couldn’t even move. Sexiest. Thing. Ever.
My whole body trembled like a leaf as she ran her fingers across my shoulders, neck and caressed me slowly and deliberately. The kissing was better than any kissing I could remember with any guy; so soft and sweet and gentle.
Her clothes came off quickly and I started caressing her too. Pretty soon we were doing some heavy petting and she started pulling my clothes off. Okay, I’m getting to feel really awkward now. My mind is racing as I’m thinking, “I’m actually making out with another girl – it is really happening.”
And then she went down on me for what seemed like hours. Finally I couldn’t take any more orgasms and told her to stop. Yes, you heard it right. She grinned and sat back for a minute, with a very sexy look on her face. I know it was my cue to go down on her now. But I didn’t. I got up like a robot, put my clothes back on and walked out the door.
Somehow, miraculously, leaving her unfulfilled after hooking up gave me some sort of celebrity status among the other girls. Christine labeled me as a pillow princess and the name stuck; so did I.
After that, I was approached by girls who were into that sort of thing because they liked the idea of going down on a reluctant girl. They didn’t expect me to reciprocate. Frankly I liked it.
Now that I’m out of college, it’s much more difficult to find these girls. I’m not out, there’s no good lesbian bars nearby, and most girls interested in a one-night-stand want you to do something for them, too.
Is it selfish? Well, okay, in the case of Christine it was. But I let the rest of the women I sleep with know what they’re getting into. If it helps, it’s not the cruelty of blue-clitting somebody that appeals to me, it’s just the aspect of being “attended” to like pillow royalty. Plus, women who don’t care about “their turn” because they get off on giving head are usually really good at it and very enthusiastic.
I get most of my hookups through the Internet (which is a nightmare, if you’re a girl trolling for no-strings sex with other girls), where I often clearly state that I’m there to get, not give. Here’s how it works. I look for bi and gay girls on datingsites who are open to casual sex, then present myself as a curious mostly straight girl and drop the pillow princess bomb if she seems flirty and interested.
If I use Craigslist, I have to deal with loads of male creeps and have to voice-verify to make sure they’re girls, but I can also state in my ad exactly what these girls are in for. She hosts or we go someplace to have sex — but never my place, because I need to be able to make my abrupt exit. (Bars with locking unisex bathrooms are great for this — so I guess I’m also a “stand-up up against the tile” princess. People are shockingly okay with waiting in line while two girls fuck.)
I answer and place more ads than lead to actual hookups, but there are enough women out there willing to do this that I’ve done it a handful of times. Some of these women have been insanely hot. Some of them are gay, some are bi, and some of them are in relationships with men who don’t know that they meet women on the Internet for sex.
The best part is that if it turns out I’m not attracted to a girl in person, I can just close my eyes and pretend I am while she does her thing. It’s a weird combination of submitting and being serviced that I find intensely sexy. Occasionally, I’ll crack in the moment and reciprocate. (Although I also like getting them to the point where they’re forced to get themselves off while I’m getting my boots on.)
It’s not that I don’t like going down on women. I do. But I’m not dating them, and I don’t think I would want to have my fetish corrupted by caring for somebody enough to give back. Judge me if you must, but plenty of folks are selfish in bed without any warning.
At least in my situation, everybody goes in with their eyes open. At least until it gets really good.

Bisexual College Women Are The Most Vulnerable To Sexual Assault

You’ve likely heard about the horrifying rates of campus sexual assault, and how one in four female students is sexually assaulted during her time in college. What you may not know is how the problem is compounded according to sexuality.

Drawing from surveys of 21,000 students at 21 schools, a new study published in the journal Violence and Gender indicates that bisexual women are more vulnerable to campus sexual assault than any other group of students, with nearly two in five experiencing it. That’s compared with one in four gay and bisexual men, similar to the rate of heterosexual women, and one in eight heterosexual men. What’s more, involvement in fraternities or sororities was shown to be strongly correlated with the likelihood of experiencing sexual assault.

“Sexual assault is a very underreported crime for a wide range of reasons, and it is underreported when it occurs on college and university campuses as well,”Violence and Gender‘s editor-in-chief and forensic behavioral specialist Mary Ellen O’Toole, PhD, said in a statement. “To really understand the breadth and depth of this problem, it is critical to understand the victimology of sexual assault, and that it includes all students, not just heterosexual females.”

With fewer and fewer young people identifying as straight and more identifying as bisexual, it’s more important than ever to examine sexual identity’s role as a risk factor for assault and abuse, and to call out stereotyping as a barrier to healthy, happy sex and love lives.

“Biphobia and bisexual erasure — leaving bisexual out of LGT discussions and spaces — make it difficult for folks who don’t identify as monosexual [or attracted to members of one gender only] to form new relationships in the first place,” Kate Estrop, co-founder of the Bisexual Resource Center, tells Refinery29. “Bi folks are seen as greedy, sex-driven, unable to form committed relationships, and prone at any moment to change their minds about their attractions.”

Bi women are often viewed as “easy” or promiscuous, Estrop explains, which heightens both bi women’s vulnerability to sexual assault and victim-blaming of bi survivors of sexual assault.

“[A survivor’s] bisexuality is just another reason [people think] she should be blamed and offenders should be pitied as not being able to help themselves,” Estrop points out. “The varied responses to Amber Heard’s case against Johnny Depp is a prime example of this sickening phenomenon… Bi survivors of sexual violence should be reassured that neither they, nor their identity, is to blame.”

Bisexual women are forgotten in health statistics, experts say

Bisexual women are often forgotten or overlooked in health statistics.
That’s a focus that the The Human Rights Campaign is looking at this month, which is called Bisexual Health Awareness Month.

This well-detailed opinion piece was submitted by Jeff Krehely, Chief Foundation Officer, and Tari Hanneman, Associate Director, Health and Aging Program.

The piece discusses how the Williams Institute, about 9 million Americans identify as LGBT — and a majority of those are bisexual women. While one in every four people living with HIV in the United States is a woman, we can’t find a single study that identifies how many of them are women who have sex with women. The article points out the LGBT community includes bisexual women, not to mention lesbians who — for a variety of reasons — have sex with men. These women are simply discounted in today’s research.

Almost a quarter of bisexual and lesbian women are poor, according to the Williams Institute. There are also high rates of workplace discrimination, harassment and health care inequities faced by these women, and you begin to see why these women should be part of the conversation when it comes to HIV and the LGBT community.

Parenting While Bisexual

CAIAIMAGE/PAUL BRADBURY VIA GETTY IMAGES

This past May I celebrated my first Mother’s Day. I got flowers, breakfast, the whole lot. No real break from parenting. Does that even exist?

Turns out parenting is hard work. Our recently-adopted 5-year-old kiddo came fully loaded with sassy comebacks, strong opinions about food, and a love of absurdist comedy.

What do you call a grizzly bear in a tree?

I don’t know, what do you call a grizzly bear in a tree?

A GRIZZLY BEAR!!!

Of course.

As we slip down the slide of life with our kiddo, my partner and I are grasping at anything to help control our descent: friends, family, community resources, blogs, books, Wikipedia, WebMD, Facebook groups, strangers in the street. (Hilarious aside: last week our kiddo was screaming so loudly in the car that a passing parent on the sidewalk yelled “Solidarity!” It was a moment.) Despite the plethora of parenting resources, I’ve struggled to find information or support for bisexual parents like myself.

Research shows that bisexual parents face particular challenges unique from those faced by gay, lesbian, and heterosexual parents, like erasure, invisibility, and discrimination. Yet when you Google “bisexual parents,” the majority of links are resources for coming out as bisexual to your parents, not how to parent as a bisexual person. Similar searches reveal even less… parental results.

And, the data shows that lots of bisexual people are parents. According to the Williams Institute, 59 percent of bisexual women and 32 percent of bisexual men have had kids, compared to 31 percent of lesbians and 16 percent of gay men. Because bisexual people make up the largest portion of the lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) community, this means more than two-thirds of LGB parents are bisexual.

A 2014 survey by the Pew Research Center found that over 80 percent of bisexual people in committed relationships are in relationships with people of a different gender. (If you’re wondering why, check out this terrific article on the math.) So, the growing number of resources for same-sex parents won’t feel relevant for the majority of bisexual people. For example, bisexual parents in different-sex relationships may be able to more easily create legal ties to their children, but may struggle to find family or community who support bisexual people being parents, and thus feel isolated in their parenting. Bisexual parents may feel they have to hide their sexual orientation, leading to poorer health outcomes.

In fact, bisexual people need targeted resources to help overcome the many disparitiesfacing them. Bisexual people are low-income: 29.4 percent of bisexual women and 25.9 percent of bisexual men live at or below the federal poverty line. Low income parents struggle to make ends meet for their children, to make sure there is healthy food on the table and a safe, warm place to sleep at night. A recent study found that bisexual women face disproportionately high rates of depression, anxiety, substance use, and suicidal ideation. Bisexual people face pervasive discrimination at work. Bisexual people suffer staggeringly high rates of intimate partner violence. Many of these low-income bisexual people suffering from violence, discrimination, depression, and a lack of support are parents.

Support, though scarce, does exists. BiNet USA hosts a map of support groups and meetups across the country where bisexual parents can connect. If you are bisexual and already have a network, reach out to support another bisexual parent. Maybe you were the parent that yelled “Solidarity!” to my car from the sidewalk. Thank you. Every little bit helps.

The 10 Most Badass Gay And Bisexual Male Characters On TV

A comment on the Movie Pilot Facebook page after my article about the10 most badass LBT women on TV got me thinking. What about the dudes? Gay and bisexual men also have had a hard time on TV, usually portrayed as flamboyant fashionistas or mega-butch gym bunnies. Gay and bisexual males of color have an even harder time, trans men are basically nonexistent (I couldn’t find any good representations of trans men on TV, so please sound off in the comments if you know of any!) GBT men deserve three dimensional roles, so once again let’s take a look at those who have broken the stereotype and done just that! (In no particular order).

10. Captain Jack Harkness – John Barrowmen (Torchwood/Doctor Who)

Love interest: Ianto

Captain Jack has saved the universe countless times alongside the Doctor and Team Torchwood. His moral ambiguity sets him apart from the Doctor, sacrificing his own grandson to avenge the death of his on/off boyfriend, Ianto.

9. Mickey Milkovich – Noel Fisher (ShamelessUS)

Love interest: Ian Gallagher

Bad boys don’t come much badder than Mickey. He is aggressive, violent and full of rage, but through his relationship with Ian Gallagher, we see him become so much more than the violent thug we’re introduced to in Season 2.

8. Felix Dawkins – Jordan Jarvis (Orphan Black)

Love interest: All men. Everywhere.

Felix is a prostitute, artist, brother, uncle, fighter and everything else in between. He is the glue that keeps Clone Club together, which is why the introduction of his biological sister in Season 4 is seen as such a threat to Sarah. Felix is the one who picks her up, and offers both support and comic relief.

7. Omar Little – Michael K. Williams (The Wire)

Love interest: Brandon (S1), Dante (S2), Renaldo (S4)

Notorious Baltimore stick-up man and gangster Omar Little really isn’t someone you want to cross paths with. People run when they see Omar coming in his bulletproof vest and shotgun, whistling “The Farmer in the Dell,” so the fact that he also happens to be gay means little to anyone.

6. Hartley Rathaway (Pied Piper) – Andy Mientus (The Flash)

Love interest: Unknown

Hartley Rathaway, the former S.T.A.R. Labs employee-turned-villain, is one of the only openly gay supervillains on television. Even though this aspect of his character has yet to be explored, openly bisexual actor Andy Mientus told The Wrap:

“With Pied Piper there is definitely room in the future for his sexuality to come up in a major way, but in his introduction that’s not the focus. It’s huge progress because if you introduced a gay character on a show, 10 years ago it would be a big thing and probably cause a controversy.”

5. Oberyn Martell – Pedro Pascal (Game Of Thrones)

Love interest: Literally anything with a pulse

Oberyn Martell was the perfect example of a bisexual man who literally gave zero fucks. He loved who he wanted and didn’t care who knew it, as is the way of Dorne. His horrible, painful death at the hands of the Mountain was one of the most gut-wrenching moments of Season 4.

4. Lafayette Reynolds – Nelsan Ellis (True Blood)

Love interest: Jesús Velásquez

As one of the sassiest, toughest and all-round best characters ever seen on TV, Lafayette was one of the reasons True Blood was great, and the AIDS Burger scene will live forever in television history.

3. Paul ‘Jesus’ Rovia – Tom Payne (The Walking Dead)

Love interest: Unknown

Having only just been introduced at the tail end of Season 6, Jesus’ sexuality hasn’t been solidified in the show. In the comics, however, he is openly gay, but I guess with walkers and Negan after you, it’s not such a big deal. Tom Payne spoke to TV Guide about the possibility of his character following the comics:

“What I find interesting from the comics is that it’s not a big deal. He just is who he is. And I enjoy the fact that in the show, they want to do right by the characters. So, um… you’ll find out! What I will say is that the showrunners and everyone who works at the show respect the vision of the characters.

Jesus would not be the first gay male on TWD, that honor was taken by Aaron and his boyfriend Eric, recruiters for the Alexandria Safe-Zone.

2. Kurt Hummel – Chris Colfer (Glee)

Love interest: Blaine Anderson

On the surface Kurt ticks all the stereotypical boxes, but as Glee wore on, he became one of the most beloved gay characters on TV. Kurt was a badass. He dealt with homophobia, rejection, abuse, unrequited love, sex, and will always be a go-to for young LGBT men and women, thanks to Chris Colfer’s honest portrayal of this openly gay and fabulous teenager.

See what he and the rest of the Glee cast have been up to here.

1. Hannibal Lector – Mads Mikkelsen (Hannibal)

Love interest: Potentially Will Graham

The relationship between Graham and Hannibal is riddled with homoerotic subtext, and while nothing is ever overtly said out loud, showrunner Bryan Fuller has always claimed Hannibal as omnisexual, and that perhaps their relationship could have developed into something more had the show continued.

Thanks to BiCupid – My Online Bisexual Dating Story

love over 40e one of them. I was twenty-six and I had just decided that it was finally time to put myself on the market… the dating market. I was not sure exactly how to go about doing something like this because I was bi and looking for a female partner. There were not a lot of dating sites that catered to that need of mine but after a quick and easy search on Google, I finally found what I was looking for on a site called BiCupid.

I took things slow and did not rush into finding a partner. I looked through many profiles and chatted with quite a few women who were also searching for female partners. After about one month of searching through profiles and talking to new people, I found a match that was right for me. Her name was Tira. She was thirty years old and she was bi just like me. We hit it off and decided to meet in person in order to further our relationship.

We went on several dates and got to know each other quite well. We even had a few sexual experiences together as a result of these dates. Soon, our sexual experiences began to be the focus of all of our dates. After a while, I realized that I did not really have feelings for Tira and that the only part of our time together that I looked forward to was sexual. I also realized that Tira was doing the same thing and that the two of us were simply using each other for sex. I quickly decided that this was not what I was looking for in life and that I wanted to end the relationship but I was not sure how to go about telling this to Tira.

One day, Tira approached me with a proposition. She wanted to have a threesome between her, her husband, and myself. This was instantly a turn off. I did not know that she was married and although our relationship had just been for sex, I was very put off by this. I did not want to date a married woman and, besides, I actually liked younger girls a lot better than older girls. I figured that it would be better to end this now. So, when she made this offer to me, I not only rejected her but I let her know that I was no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with her. I did this casually because I knew that the relationship did not mean a great deal to either of us since we had both resorted to just using each other for sex.

Tira was only slightly disappointed by me breaking off our relationship. We went our separate ways and I returned to BiCupid in order to start talking to people and looking for a better relationship than I had had with Tira. Only a week after I had ended things with Tira, she sent me a message on BiCupid and invited me to a party that she was throwing as a sign of good will. I had nothing better to do and thought that it would be fun so I let her know that I would definitely be there. I thought that perhaps this would be a good way to meet new people and hopefully meet another girl who might be interested in me.

I went to the party and although I did not have high expectations, I did meet someone. From the moment I saw her, I was entranced. The first word that came to mind when I saw her was sexy. She had tattoos on her body and I felt myself instantly wondering how many tattoos she had underneath her clothes.  Although I was a little bit nervous, I approached her and started a conversation easily. She was easy to talk to and as she spoke I knew that I just wanted to know more and more about her. We had a chemistry together and I could tell that she felt the same way that I did. I quickly learned that she was a lesbian and I also learned that she did not mind that I was bi. The fact that I was sometimes attracted to men did not bother her at all and that made me ecstatic.

I took that sexy woman home that night and we got to know each other intimately which was something that I enjoyed greatly. I was able to see all of her tattoos and she was eager to show them to me. We quickly realized that we wanted to spend even more time together and that this relationship would not be one that was only about sex. And so we went on dates and actually got to know one another. Now, we have been together for a year and a half and I can honestly say that I love her. We are very happy together and I hope that we will stay that way for a very long time.

I would like to thank both BiCupid and Tira for bringing the two of us together. Without them, neither one of us would have ever found the love that we have for each other and because of them, we are both very, very happy. Thank you!

This Mom Is Bisexual And In An Open Marriage. And She’s Happy As Can Be

Sacrifice. Isn’t that what motherhood is all about? Or is that what we have made ourselves believe? We sacrifice our sleep, our vanity and often our dignity. Anyone who has ever whipped out a boob in a crowded restaurant or has had to deal with a screaming tantrum in a toy store knows exactly what I mean. We mothers have convinced ourselves that to be the best for our children, we have to give up almost everything that separates us from the childless women out there.

But to be good mothers must we sacrifice that which makes us who we are? For Sophie Jenkins, absolutely not. One recent evening, following dinner with her husband Steve and their six-year-old daughter, Sophie planned a fun night out dancing with the girls. This isn’t unusual for most moms – we still enjoy nights out with our friends, even though they may end earlier than they did in our child-free days. But for Sophie, the concept of ‘girls night out’ takes on a whole different meaning.

On this night, Sophie enters the club and watches the gorgeous women, eyeing their soft curves. But she won’t be viewing them with envy, comparing her own body to theirs, as so many of us tend to do. No, Sophie will be looking at them with interest. You see, Sophie is a bisexual, married mom and tonight, she wants to find a woman to dance with and maybe make out with and then see where it leads.

You might be shocked, even horrified, to think that Sophie is cheating on her clueless husband. You might be judging this behavior as unsuitable for a mom. But Sophie is neither cheating nor doing anything wrong. She is simply living her life the way she wants to. And Steve knows all about it.

From the minute they met, Steve knew that Sophie was the woman he was going to marry and have children with. He also knew that she was bisexual and he had no problem with it. He understood that it’s the person – not the gender – that Sophie loves, and that she loves her husband deeply. And for the first few years of their marriage, it was enough.

Then Sophie had her daughter, a traumatic birth that led to severe postpartum depression. She felt lost, unhappy and desperate to have her old life back, which had included dating women. After therapy and a lot of soul searching, Sophie realized that she had sacrificed too much. She is a married mom, yes, but she is also a bisexual woman who needs other women to feel whole.

Bisexuality is confusing for most people. Isn’t it enough to just choose one gender and stick with it? Must people be allowed to sample from every menu? Well, why not? If Sophie’s bisexuality is “an elemental capacity to develop an attraction to the same gender,” then how can one argue with an innate part of her identity? Our most important job as moms is to teach our children to be proud of who they are. Sophie is doing exactly that. Though, like most parents, she has no intention of discussing her sex life with her daughter, she is exemplifying how to live a full, content life by being honest with herself and her husband about who she is.

Where is her loving partner in all of this? Well, he also has desires, but his don’t include going to bars and picking up women. What he wants is the classic male fantasy: a threesome with his wife and another woman. But as Sophie explains, it’s not easy to find a woman who wants to be brought home to someone else’s husband. In fact, it’s so hard to find this elusive other woman that it became part of an iconic Sex and the City episode in which Miranda answers a personals ad from a couple looking for this rare third party. According to Sophie, most potential “thirds” aren’t so sure about joining in with a married couple with kids. Even the most open-minded of people have particular views of family life, and they don’t include threesomes.

Sophie is first and foremost a mother. She takes Maddy to school and chats with the other moms about this and that. But when asked what she had done on Saturday night at her daughter’s class picnic, she neglects to mention the kissing and slow dancing with a woman at a club. Imagining the wide-eyed stares and gaping mouths on the moms’ faces (and the awe perhaps from the dads) is reason enough for Sophie to keep her true identity hidden. This causes a cognitive dissonance of sorts. Sophie is neither embarrassed nor ashamed of who she is, yet to protect her family, she cannot reveal a great part of who she is because of what other moms might think. And as educated and enlightened as we purport to be, moms are, at heart, often competitive and judgmental when it comes to what might seem like inappropriate “mom” behavior. Maybe it’s because we have our own secret proclivities.

But Sophie is not alone. A recent New York Times article by Mark Oppenheimer called “Married, With Infidelities” profiles Dan Savage, America’s best known sex columnist. His column, Savage Love, often looks at monogamy and what he considers its problems. For Savage, the best relationships are had if both people involved are “good, giving and game,” whatever that might entail for the couple. For Savage personally, it includes some extramarital activity; in Sophie’s case, it’s finding women to fool around with and perhaps sharing them with her husband, as she’s done in the past.

Judith Stacey, a New York University sociologist quoted in Oppenheimer’s article, succinctly sums up Sophie’s definition of her marriage: “Monogamy is not natural, non-monogamy is not natural. Variation is natural.” Variation is the key to Sophie’s happy marriage and her ability to be the best mother she can be.

Marriage and motherhood are never easy. In addition to balancing the demands of a husband and child, Sophie also has to find the time (and place) to fulfill a whole other need. She isn’t looking for a girlfriend per se, but she is looking for variation in her sex life. And though Steve is never accusing in his questions, he does want to be included in every part of Sophie’s life – and so it’s a challenge for her to decide how much to share. If Sophie ultimately decides that she wants to find another man, or Steve decides he does want to see another woman, these will be other lines they’ll have to cross. Fluidity in their relationship is understood as part of human nature, and Sophie knows that they will approach it together.

Sophie and Steve love each other, their child and the variation on life they’re mapping out for themselves. With the current media explosion about Arnold SchwarzeneggerAnthony Weiner and countless other celebrities and politicians literally being caught with their pants down, Sophie has figured out something most people haven’t. Honesty is truly the core of a relationship, and being who you really are, no holds barred, is the secret to happiness.

Bisexual Dating Resources

A Bisexual is a person who knows that sexuality is fluid, it is free and changing. A person labeled under this category is the type of person who can be attracted to both men an women in all levels and categories one can imagine be it romantically, intellectually, physically and others.

Are you Bisexual?
Some people although knowing that they are attracted to people of the same sex tend to brush the idea off because of the rule of the norm. For others on the other hand, they do not even know if they really are a bisexual. To determine if you really are under this particular category of gender you may check the following guidelines.
  • Which gender do you find yourself to be more comfortable?
  • Are you physically attracted to both sexes?
  • Do you prefer seeking emotional comfort with men or women?
  • Have you ever been emotionally attached to a person of the same sex?
It is through determining the answer to the said questions that one can realize on whether he or she is a bisexual. Chances are, if one has really been extremely emotionally, physically, intellectually attached to a person of the same sex while accepting the probability of being in the same state of feelings with the opposite sex that one can be certain that s/he is a true bisexual.
Dating ressources
The queer world is rather small and intimate. There are many venue for one to find people of the same sex preference. For single bisexual people who does not know where to start meeting people try to go online to know people. There are already several websites meant for this type of dating.
www.bicupid.com is one of the most popular and very well advertised lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender network website. Its use can make her own profile and customize it according to her personality. It also gives a venue for people to chat as a group and as an individual.

http://www.bidatingnow.com has been available for every bisexual people to communicate with each other since the year 1997. In fact, one can even browse on someone else profile without the need of registering to the site making it more interesting.

http://www.bidatingsite.com is the site for bisexuals to meet people who are not of the same gender range. Its membership is free. Users are allowed to create their own profile and browse members from other dating websites.